Thursday, April 16, 2015

April Breath

I was thinking recently of the tenuous connections between people. I remember one of my best friends in elementary school, how we used to make up our own stories and act them out together. I remember the group of girl friends in middle school with whom I talked about crushes and whirled ecstatic and free into the warm night for the first time at a school dance. Somehow, time and distance moved us apart as easily as petals drifting in opposite directions in the water current.

Despite being thousands of miles apart, living and working in completely different countries, I'm grateful to still be in touch with some of my high school friends and college friends. There are also people I've met, friends I've made after coming to Japan in 2009. As we get older, priorities change, people change... it's not as easy to keep in touch and get together anymore. And sometimes, the lines of communication simply drop out of use, perhaps due to a misunderstanding, an argument, or just the time passing.

Funny and strange, isn't it? At a certain point in time, a particular period, someone comes into your life and truly touches you, makes a difference, nudges you in a specific way and perhaps even without you realizing it, really, changes the direction of your life just a little bit. You feel things in common, shared passions, struggles and dreams. You inspire and encourage each other. You make each other smile. You have fun together.

And then all of a sudden, they can just drop out of your life. It happens without warning. And after some time, it feels that perhaps it's too late to regain that connection, although it never really is. Pride, effort, other priorities, life. Lots of things drift and float in the way until you start to lose sight of whether it's really worth it, and finally, you give up and continue traveling along on your own individual path.

Time and distance. They both tend to carry people away. But I remember, and I am grateful. Even if we're no longer the same people, and perhaps you don't remember me anymore.
Thank you. For I couldn't be who I am now without you.