I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cause I got time while she's got freedom
Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even
What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces...
-from "Breakeven" by The Script // Cover by Lisa
These days, the weather is warm and sunny in Tokyo with most of the rainy season having passed already, it seems. We've had a cool period for the past few days, and it feels like heaven being able to sleep with the window open and not using the air conditioner. If only the rest of summer would continue like this. Warm enough to dress in light clothing and go out comfortably, but not too hot and humid so that every step outside warrants stickiness and the urge to shower.
By the way, I'm loving this thin white belt I found a few weekends ago at a vintage shop.
I guess I tend to be one for painful and heart-wrenching songs over the peppy and happy ones - although I try to sing the latter sometimes, they always come out rather cheesy and not seeming as genuine. I find that I rarely get that spark of inspiration to write songs when I'm happy, but find it so easy to pour out the words and melodies when I'm at a really low point.
The song "Breakeven" by The Script really stood out to me in terms of lyrics, the sadness in its chorus. Do you know the feeling of falling to pieces? Of having everything you once believed in crumbling down into dust, filtering through your fingers and slipping away?
I wonder what it is with me and sad songs... I don't even think of myself as a particularly sad person usually, although I can be rather serious.
Well, I think it might be because the pieces that touch me are the ones that I can connect with on some deeper level - and those usually happen to be the ones that speak about some kind of difficulty, pain, darkness... the parts of us we tend to keep hidden away from the brightness of everyday sunlight. The songs that make us gasp with realization, that make us remember the heartbreak, that let us look right into the depths of the wound... and feel that it's okay. It's okay to know and to have that sadness within us and as a part of us somewhere. After all, we have all gone through something like this at some time.
Even if we can't make it disappear completely, what better way to make it through the sadness, than to acknowledge, accept, and touch it within our hearts?
Many people in the world are going through really tough times right now. Maybe even you are, at the moment.
But please trust that you have the courage and strength to put the pieces back together again, even if not exactly in the same fit and pattern as before - even if a little broken and mismatched.
The pieces will come together.